So, my husband's Law Review board had a "social" tonight. I am not very good at these types of things. A few days ago, there was a picnic for another law school group and - get this - when being introduced to one of the deans, I got distracted and DIDN'T NOTICE HIM TRY TO SHAKE MY HAND. That's right, folks, the associate dean reached out for a nice, hardy handshake and got nothin'. I was mortified. I was sure my husband would be failed for his rude, socially backwards wife's faux pas. I am still losing sleep over it.
So, image the stress I felt when I was informed that I would be attending another party with important, smart people in attendance. Only this one was much worse for the following reasons:
1. It was at the dean's house. (Not the associate dean, mind you, the HEAD DEAN OF THE ENTIRE LAW SCHOOL).
2. It was not just a casual picnic but was actually catered, complete with wine and decadent, rum-flavored desserts.
3. The dean insisted that everyone BRING THEIR KIDS (I believe his exact quote was, "It'll be fun!"). I mean, has the dean ever seen kids? Does he know how much stress this puts on me? My poor, sweet daughter was threatened within an inch of her life to be on her best behavior and, for heaven's sake, don't touch anything! This admonition could not have come any sooner because. . .
4. Upon entering the dean's house, I immediately noticed the following: a white couch, two (count 'em, two) glass coffee tables, a china hutch, a very elegant Persian rug, and various glass, marble and otherwise expensive and possibly foreign-looking knick-knacks and decorations.
I believe my exact thought at this moment was, "Oh, crap." Luckily, we weren't the only ones there with kids. Luckily, nothing got broken. His glass tables could have used a good Windexing by the time we left, but otherwise, no harm done. Fortunately for me, the associate dean kept his distance. When I was introduced to the head dean, I gave him a firm handshake, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "It's very nice to meet you." See, I'm not socially backwards at all.
Although, my husband may be taking an escort to the next party.
The kids and I will be at McDonald's if you need us.
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4 comments:
That is hilarious. I have been the one on the non-receiving end of a handshake and that is even more embarrassing (not to make you feel any worse).
Have fun at McDonald's.
Sarita: Thanks. I think I'll go cry into my pillow now.
PS-I called you every day for 4 days straight this week and no answer. What gives?
An escort, huh??? Hmm. No thanks. If I show up without the "girl who refuses to shake the dean's hand," people will start to ask questions.
That would so be me!
I am sorry, social faux paus are the worst. Especially when you feel it may reflect negatively on someone other than yourself!
Cheers on the fries! Enjoy them.
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