OH, HOW WE LAUGH AND LAUGH. (AND CRY.)

This was quite a week. I was getting a lot of attitude (of the pre-teen variety) from Lauren. Every time I asked her to do something she would ask Why and then she would just tell me to do it myself. Baker has started the oh-so-lovable toddler stage of CONSTANT question asking. It just never stops. All. Day. Long. And he gets very angry when I don't know the answer, so I have started making stuff up.

What used to be this:

Baker: (Pointing to the man in the car next to us.) "Mommy, who dat guy?"
Me: "I don't know."
Baker: "Why, Mommy? Why you not know? You tell me who dat guy!"

Now goes like this:

Baker: "Mommy, who dat guy?"
Me: "Uh, his name is Frank."
Baker: (waving) "Hi, Frank."

Much better, don'tcha think?

Anyway, between the two of them, we have come up with some pretty classic conversations lately. Here are a few, just for kicks:

*This morning, I was getting Baker dressed. I was sitting on the floor and he was standing in front of me. We were silent until Baker turned to me and said, "Actually, Mom, I don't like you." He said it with an emphasis on 'don't,' like he had spent the past three years contemplating it and just, at that moment, reached his decision. I said, "Did you just say you don't like me?!" His response? "Yeah, I just like Dad. I don't like you." I got no help from Brian on this one.

*In that same vein, at dinner tonight Baker kept asking for candy. I said he couldn't have one because he wouldn't eat his food. He turned to Brian and asked the same question. Brian gave him the same response. He got so angry, pounded his fist on the table, turned to me and said, "No! You the 'no' one, and you (turning to Brian) the 'yes' one!" Brian and I couldn't help laughing and Brian had the gall --THE GALL-- to say, "No wonder he likes me better!"

*I got really frustrated today because Baker kept taking the cushions off the couch. Those of you who know me well will know that I'm a little OCD about house organization and cleanliness. I don't care if the kids trash their bedrooms or the playroom, but all other areas of the house belong to me. Anyway, I scolded Baker for messing up the couch and said, "Please don't do that again!" (Okay, I probably didn't say 'please.') Lauren turned to me and said, "Well, Mom, maybe the next time you buy a couch you should buy one whose cushions don't come off." I'm pretty sure she had her hands on her hips when she said this. I responded with, "Okay, Lauren, the next time I buy a couch, I'll keep that in mind." And, you know what? I probably will.

*Lauren has several fears, most of them completely irrational. Two happen to be elevators and wind. Unfortunately, we live in a pretty windy town and Lauren's school has an elevator she has to go on every week for music class. Well, the rest of the class goes on it and she takes the stairs. This week she decided to conquer her fears and ride the elevator with everyone else. Also, it was a super windy day and it took some convincing, but she finally went outside for recess. I asked her what her teacher had to say about this and Lauren said, "She told me I better not ever go to some city...I don't remember the name. But, they have a lot of tall building, so there's probably a lot of elevators there. Also, the city is really windy." Brian and I said at the same time, "Chicago?" Lauren's face lit up and she said, "Yeah! How did you know it was Chicago?!" She thought it was so cool that we knew what her teacher was talking about. I explained that Chicago's nickname is The Windy City and she shook her head slowly and said, "Yeah, I probably better not ever go there."

*Lauren has also had a huge case of the "It's-not-fairs" this week. I can't believe I actually told her that "Life isn't fair" but I did. Several times. On Monday, Lauren saw Baker playing with a piece of cardboard and got so angry that she didn't have one, too. I finally got so sick of her complaining about it, I said, "Yes, Lauren! Your brother has a piece of trash and you don't! You have a whole play room overflowing with toys and you're mad that you don't have trash to play with!" She looked at the ground and mumbled under her breath, "It's still not fair."

Sometimes, as a parent, it's hard to keep from laughing.

Or crying.

I can't decide which.