A PEACEFUL REVOLUTION

I gave up on New Year's Resolutions long ago. I seriously think that making them is just setting yourself up for failure. I have only kept one resolution I have ever made. Two years ago, I went the entire year without reading a single issue of People magazine. Don't be too impressed, it was much easier than it sounds.

Anyway, instead of resolutions, now I just decide on some positive things I want to have happen each year. They really are things that are just personal -- how I want to feel, what I need to spend my time doing, what I want for my children, my spouse, my home, and myself. I guess it's like picking a theme for each year. It is something you are striving for and trying to always be mindful of, but not really something you can check off a list and then forget about. It is really changing something within yourself that will become your new habit and lifestyle. Using the no-People-magazine example, I was trying to fill my mind with good, spiritual, intellectual things and not with trash. It carried over into more than just my choices in magazines, but also affected my movie choices, TV viewing, and Internet surfing habits. It was a conscience choice that became a sub-conscience way of life.

This year, our family is striving for PEACE. We want peace in our homes, in our relationships, and within ourselves. 2008 was beyond chaotic for our family. There were so many changes and upheavals and stress piled on top of more stress that I felt, towards the end of the year, I was barely clinging on to the last threads of peace (and sanity) in my life. 2009 will be different.

I realized early on that, in order to achieve peace, you have to be willing to let some things go. Doing more becomes doing less and being okay with it. My house will be messier in 2009 but I will get over it (I will, I promise) because it means spending more quality time with my kids during the day which brings them, and subsequently me, greater peace.

One of the changes that has made a big difference is that Brian and I have started going on dates once a week. We are able to spend time together without the noise and chaos that three kids bring. When there is an issue during the week, I know I can put it aside until Friday night when Brian and I can focus on it and work it out without interruptions.

I think the greatest challenge so far, but what will ultimately bring the greatest blessings, is that we are striving for peace in our relationships with each other. We have instituted a No-Yelling rule in our house. Those of you who know me well will know what a difficult challenge this will be for me. I have a temper. I admit it. I also talk loud in a normal conversation, so when I get angry it gets even louder. My kids have started yelling at each other and I just couldn't stand it anymore. So, if anyone raises their voice (which we call "speaking harshly"), it is straight to time-out. We talk a lot about treating others the way you want to be treated and controlling your reactions to people and situations.

Of course, we are not perfect. It is definitely a work in progress. I am not about to tell you that I haven't lost my temper with my kids or spent time stressing out about stuff. After all, this is a quest for peace, not perfection. But we are willing to make peace with our shortcomings (pun intended) and try a little harder tomorrow.

Now, that's a resolution I can live with.